Jessie Hartman

I enjoyed it. Keep writing. I assume you will explain further about Eddie. Very good start. God has made you a wonderful writer, I can't wait to read more!

Nice start, good descriptions. Who is "she"? Anyway, it's good so far, can't wait to see more.

It's not a bad idea. Keep it up, it has great potential.

Amazing. Please keep going, you are so talented! It's incredibly well-written, and it grabbed my attention instantly!

I'm anxious to see where this goes. I would try to branch out from the typical futuristic sci-fi that's already been done fifty-million times by other people. It's more enjoyable ...

SNAPE IS STILL GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha!Ha! I love it! I've just emerged from my first time taking finals, I thought I was going to die!

Interesting...I didn't think anybody would comment on it, much less enjoy reading it. I mean, we wrote this after sleeping for maybe four hours. I like how random rhyme becomes ...

an extreme degree. I am depressed now. You've got imagination,though, and the sick nature of these lyrics actually cause it to be amusing, in a...creepy...sort of way.

I enjoyed it. Nice work. I could say more, but my criticism is rarely intellingent, much less constructive, so I won't bore you. YOu probably won't see this anyway. Oh ...